The Mansion

Ahhhhh, The Mansion. The Mansion was one of the men that was a double act, aka, Nurse Betty and I picked up two friends and went back to someones house together, then separated to our own….devices. As was our usual haunt, we found these two boys at the Edgy. I have no idea about what the name of the bloke she was with, but mine was The Mansion.

The Mansion really did live in one. We were both surprised by the enormity of this place when we got there, was HUGE! With a well stocked bar, which we all availed ourselves to with many a laugh and drunken boast for an hour or so until everyone was socially lubricated enough to be honest about what the go was. So we troop upstairs and TM magnanimously gave up his room to his mate and Nurse Betty. I was somewhat surprised by this but then fully expected to get the guest bedroom, or the couch in the study or something. Oh no, not the case.

His. Parents. Bed.

You heard me.

Why TM? Seriously why?! There was A FUCKING DUST RUFFLE PEOPLE. Though I did get a laugh out of the fact that it was a deep brown and I happened to have a chocolate flavoured condom in my wallet that night (the OCD side of my persona is STILL happy about that).

The sex was ok, nothing to write home about but not to awkward or uncomfortable. Good kisser. Fairly lept for the shower afterwards though, which I tried hard not to take personally. While he was in the shower I decided that it was time to go. Nurse Betty and I had a code word, vibrato, for just this situation. So I texted it to her, trying to be polite, and as it sent I received the same word back. So I sneakily got my shit together and got half dressed and crept out of the room. Met Nurse Betty on the stairs and we bolted like startled rabbits.

Which would’ve worked better if we could’ve figured out how to open the fucking front door. As the shower turns off and I hear my name called, the blasted thing finally opens and Nurse Betty and I leg it out the door at top speed, straight to my car.

Which doesnt start.

Now I loved my car, she was my first. 1980 RA40, original engine, and as such, didnt like starting on cold mornings. So that left Nurse Betty and I sitting in my car half screaming, half praying for my car to start. And I shit you not, as the front gate opens and the boys step out, she roars to life and I do the biggest burn out of my career down the street.

Still a proud moment.

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